I wonder what it is about me that I am always seeking more. More of everything. Am I selfish or curious? Am I hardwired to seek more? If so what more should I be seeking? As an ex-addict I could not get enough of the comfort the bottle and drugs gave me. I pursued the road to more with a vengeance. Even in recovery and into a recovered (from alcoholism/drugs) state of being and as a truly spiritual person I seek more. Interesting. I wrote this poem in 2008.
I need to know that when the music stops I won’t
I need to know when there is no love to be found I can still be found
I need to know that when I die swallowed by the Mother there will be a molecule or a cell left behind for redemtion
So I can go on somewhere somehow
I need to make music and poetry and rhyme and verse to make some sense of all the insanity around/in/of me
I need to know the palm reader is real knowing some are not
I need to know that
I need to seek knowing
I need to know that curiosity will drive me to the cliff of understanding and not take me down those compelling steep rocky slopes
I need to know I will not be punished because I want to know stuff or speak it or dance it or screw it up
Ahh! Now I know why I am still seeking more. I need to seek more so I will know.