I wonder what it is about me that I am always seeking more. More of everything. Am I selfish or curious? Am I hardwired to seek more? If so what more should I be seeking? As an ex-addict I could not get enough of the comfort the bottle and drugs gave me. I pursued the road to more with a vengeance. Even in recovery and into a recovered (from alcoholism/drugs)  state of being and as a truly spiritual person I seek more. Interesting. I wrote this poem in 2008.


I need to know that when the music stops I won’t

I need to know when there is no love to be found I can still be found

I need to know that when I die swallowed by the Mother there will be a molecule or a cell left behind for redemtion

So I can go on somewhere somehow

I need to make music and poetry and rhyme and verse to make some sense of all the insanity around/in/of me

I need to know the palm reader is real knowing some are not

I need to know that

I need to seek knowing

I need to know that curiosity will drive me to the cliff of understanding and not take me down those compelling steep rocky slopes

I need to know I will not be punished because I want to know stuff or speak it or dance it or screw it up


Ahh! Now I know why I am still seeking more. I need to seek more so I will know.


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Grace E. Reed

I have a MA in Conflict Resolution, a BA in Drama Therapy am a mediator, published writer (Negotiating Shadows and Needs) a broadcaster for radio on disability awareness. I work with street youth, the homeless, addicted people, and have been a social activist for over 35 years. Occupy WS Portland, Oregon is a passion. Eagles World Studio is up and running. My heart responds to poetry and my head hears it in everything I do. My motto is 'stay curious, be kind and keep moving'. My new book 'Negotiating Shadows: Journey to the Sun' published by George Ronald Publisher, Oxford England and available through my website.

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